Snarktastic Tuesday….and hopes for a margarita
Here is your warning. It’s Snarky Tuesday. S-N-A-R-K-Y. As in cranky, crabby, whiny and perhaps full of cold pizza and no margarita. Whoa. And this post isn’t about the kids. Whoa. Whoa. Ready to carry on? Ok then.
The show Hoarders makes me feel so much better about myself and lack of housekeeping skills. My problem is my hubby. Really. He loves to clean. Ergo, I don’t. However, as my kids (crap, this post is about my kids. Dang.) step over piles of clothes (enter my violent rebellion of the GAP years—but I will SCHOOL you in jean folding), I wonder if their little brains think ‘I’m in the 2020 version of Hoarders’. So I’m stepping up my game. No joke.
I’m also feel that wanting shank someone for a piece of chocolate is wrong. That would be my Catholic school upbringing coming through. I’m pretty sure there is a sin for shanking. But I do like the word today apparently.
The running has been obsolete this week. I’m not feeling it. And then my lovely co-worker (rhymes with Pas-yawn) asked me about my 5K today. Crap. Now I need to get my Skinny Runner shorts on and head downstairs. You know, because it’s so hot out (how hot is it?)…. It’s so hot out fire hydrants are fighting over dogs! Hellloooo treadmill.
The other would be my eating habits. Granted the schmorgasbord that I made tonight was just my fridge falling out onto my table and landing in my kid’s mouths. No judging….there was fruit. I did think ‘Man, I need to get it together’–as I was shoving a black and bleu burger in my mouth (Shout out to Coach’s!!)
On a fun kid note, I tried to use timeout for Teo tonight. He laughed at me. Seriously. Then got up and walked past me. My BP went up a bit and we tried it again. He looked at me as if I was cray cray (am I cool enough to pull off that phrase? I’m thinking not…kind of like gladiator sandals….not gonna happen).
Anyway, timeout was short lived and I managed to feel like loser parent of the year. Luckily, I was sitting with Luca and he was stroking my hair. I said ‘What are you doing?’ Luca said… I was going to get a napkin but you are right here. He’s the sweetest.
So if I smell like pepperoni, and have running shorts on tomorrow… just avert your eyes. Unless you have chocolate or a margarita.
Martinez Madness 