WE HAVE A CLINGER!! STAGE 5!! ALERT!!! This boy right here….
Holy mocos Batman! I might have carpal tunnel from all the wiping of noses I have done this week. There should be a quota for the amount of snot a baby produces and then you are snot free for like a few weeks. Heck, I would even be down for a reprieve on days or hours. Poor guy, he’s the one glistening in the daylight with a shiny new mustache all the time. He will definitely not be getting any chicks that way.
Not that I want my 9 month old getting chicks. That was just a lame attempt at being sarcastic. I tend to do that, a lot. So to offset that, *SENTIMENTAL ALERT*, I was organizing (I know, it was a Haley’s Coment type of moment) and went through some books. I put up all the ‘What to expect when you are expecting, WTE during the 1st year, and was flipping thru WTE the toddler years, when I almost cried. That book ends at 36 months. Cripes! Who is going to put fake letters to the experts on issues that I may or may not have for my 6 year old. You know the ones I’m talking about…. like Dear Fake Editor, My 3 year old is reaching towards an open flame. Whatever shall I do? Um…..
What about ‘Dear Fake Editor, my 26 year old won’t move out, eats all our food, demands his clothes to be washed. I am tempted to box him up and see if the Post Office really means they will ship anything. Should I feed him more green beans?’. That kind of craziness. If you aren’t a parent, those examples will be lost on you. If you are a parent, am I wrong about these examples??
I digress. I realized that after this book, I wont really have a baby anymore. I will have a kid. A real, live kid. Crap. That means I can only blame this baby weight on Mateo. It really will be weird when Teo is 4 and I am still wearing maternity pants. Right? Right?? I mentioned this to J and he grunted. Literally. I snuggled with L and told him this and he looks at me, hugs me and told me he farted. Nice. I call my mom and tell her and she almost cries with me. Booya! Those moms are the best.
Funny now resumes:
L is so chatty lately. Not that this is different but now he’s asking about penises. Awesome. Who has one, why, why don’t ‘giwls’ have them. It makes for interesting conversations when I am sitting at the table with MY DAD. Awkward.
M is also becoming a showman. He is pulling up on everything…which makes me more aware of the loose fitting yoga pants I have been wearing. He’s got a mouthful of teeth which he uses on everyone. He can give kisses now which tend to be open mouthed and juicy. Again with the carpal tunnel and the wiping. He also waves, says ‘dad’ and claps. For only $100 an hour, he can be your trained entertainment at your next party.
To end this post, I will give you another example of our amazing parenting skills. Luca knows the dance routine for Justin Beiber’s Love me song. He also asks me for the ‘uh huh’ song…which translates to the Nelly -Just a Dream song. Nice, huh. Today, I heard a version which sounded like a remix of Nelly with a little Twinkle, Twinkle and Jingle Bells mixed in.
Again, both boys can be the entertainment for your next get together….we will even throw in the snot for free!
So I just saw a commercial with a glamourous woman (by glamourous I mean, showered AND a clean top on) who says ‘Want a easy appetizer that everyone will love?’ And she pulls out a roll of cresent rolls and rolls up a hot dog in them. She hands them out and someone at her party (who clearly doesn’t get out much) takes one and says “Impressive”. Hey lady, when you add instant mashed potatoes, my kids think I’m made of gold!
I feel better about my domestic skills after that commercial.
On another note….poop. And no, that’s not a tribute to my friend Matty T. I’m over it today. M has decided that he needed a hobby and this is it. M had worn more diapers and outfits today than Imelda had flip flops. Sheesh. If he wasn’t so hilarious…I would let him go naked and follow him with a power washer. Actually, I tried that whole naked thing…it went badly. Very badly.
I’m going to go make some ‘impressive’ pigs in a blanket…and hope no one poops in the next 5 minutes.
This year should be a calm one…after all 2010 brought us….
-Me NOT being pg…. 🙂
-The boys starting school – and loving it after a while
-Auntie Cait getting hitched!
-L’s first plane ride—and Teo’s, technically.
-J went to New York and left me with an infant and a toddler..but I’m almost over it. 🙂
2011 will bring us:
-M turns 1!
-L turns 3!
-J will be 37!
-J and I will be married 10 years!
Good wishes to you and yours for a happy, healthy 2011!!