Now, I don’t normally post during the day.. while I should be working. *cough cough* But this had to get out of my head so I can go on with the whole resourcing human’s thing I do. Now, if you know me at all, you know I HATE HATE HATE to sweat, exert any extra energy and will throw myself face first on the ground kicking and screaming before heading to an ‘exercise’ class. My sis and her friends VOLUNTARILY go to a boot camp. I might judge them for doing that, especially when they hurt themselves there. My OREO’s have never injured me.
Either way, I did find something. Zumba was and is just like me: slightly fun, loud, awkwardness is encouraged, and uh latin. Duh. But I’m a Zumba snob. I like my one teacher and that’s it. The other’s aren’t as funny or human, for that matter. Shout out to Katie @ the Y!! But my Zumba teacher had to go and get pregnant. Not that I am one to judge, being a creator of life myself…but still. A big bummer since the replacement was and is slightly scary and likes to dance into my personal space. See this 3 foot imaginary circle around me? Stay out of it.
So I bailed. I know… what a whiner. Have you met me ever??? My husband needs to stop nodding his head now.
I learned great news when my fave teacher was returning and I completely ignored my kids in the afternoon so I could go again. Yeah me! However, she changed schedules on me and well, there are only so many meetings I could “forget” and not get busted. Plus, half my co-workers read this…and let’s face it, they are kinda mouthy.
But….*insert dramatic music here*…today is a new day. I realized I could head to this Zumba class taught by my fave teacher AND my boss was ok with AND my kids didn’t need me as long as they had Mickey and their dad. WI N WIN!! *Yank dramatic music here and insert crying clowns* Alas, my Zumba karma kicked my butt.
I walked in, ON TIME—shocker, and watched as these (I’m going to be careful here–Hi Mom!!) ladies who looked like they could have been bff’s with Rosie the Riveter start to stretch and talk about the weather. Groan…. I felt bad for them. I was so gonna school them. Poor gals.
Enter a stranger. Double GROAN. Where was Katie? Where were the Zumba’ers? And of course before we begin, she calls me out in front of the crowd. I HEART THAT KIND OF ATTENTION. Not. “Are you new to my class?” Um…stammering…no I take the 430 with Katie. She looks at me like I’m nuts. Awesome.
And it begins. The dreaded Hi-Lo class. CRAP MCCRAPERSON. And of course, like an idiot, I park myself on the far wall with all of my crap. Nope, can’t be the cool one who walks in with a water bottle and keys. Nope, purse, giant water bottle, wallet and keys and a jacket. Sweet. Now I can’t even sneak out. And it begins… .the Hi-yah’ing.
No lie. If I had my phone, I would have taken a ninja-pic. But that was the ONE thing I left in my car. I’m an awesome planner. It was my gram’s doppleganger. Well, except this doppleganger does high kicks, wears floral headscarves, and has some rhythm issues. Oh and she’s Asian. So maybe it was just the hair that reminded me of my Gram. Anywho, she didn’t follow along with the beat, dancing all along, stretched when we were doing cardio-WEIRDO, and felt the need to Hi-Ya at the most random times. Pretty sure Gaga didn’t imagine someone Hi-ya’ing to her poker face tune. Maybe that’s just me. Either way, Alter-Gram threw me off my game. Oh wait, I didn’t have one. I love being forced to do something I don’t know or don’t want to do… J-stop nodding.
Did I mention I almost sold my soul if I would make time fly by. I was panting and sweating….EVERYONE SAY EWWWWW….and it was only 15 minutes in.