“Well, does it take more guts to twice traverse a staircase in a burning building, or to make a one-time leap into a volcano? Damned if I know, Kemosabe.” (Source: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099892/)
He’s home. Joe, I mean J, is home. Let the craziness cease. Or not. J had a great time, as he spoke in his sleep. Apparently, climbing a volcano takes a lot out of you. Hmmph. Try giving birth. Twice.
We got in the car and L so sweetly said ‘Dad, I’m so glad I found you.” Awww. To which J looks at me and says, ‘Did you know that shrinking heads was done until about 60 years ago?” I replied “6 years ago??!?!?!?!?!” J said ‘No, 60 but I got pictures of it so we can look at it when we get home’. I didn’t put the pedal to the metal any faster, just between you and me.
J said he drank 3 bottles of water just on the way up. So I’m guessing taking my 32 oz. QT Cherry Dr Pepper up there is frowned upon. The plus side to this whole volcano climbing business is that you get chocolate and Gatorade when you get to the top….15,000 ft. That better be some damn good chocolate.
But he did get some great pics of him on the volcano. At the airport, I inquired as to why the butt of his jeans looked so dirty. He told me ‘Um, that’s a good story. I will tell you later’. Turns out this guy of mine took a mental vacation from the fact he had a stinkin’ awesome wife and two adorable yet insane boys at home and DECIDED to slide down the volcano. The dirt on his butt was ash. (Insert a#& joke here.) SLID DOWN THE VOLCANO!!??
I was excited to see him but not as excited as the boys were. If I was video taping the reunion outside the gate, I so would have showed it in slo-mo with some Bette Midler song playing. His luggage smelled and he has smelled prettier but we were headed home so the boys could look at the pics of Ecuadorian cows. He’s always thinking of his boys. And so I don’t ever lose them again, they each got BRIGHT yellow soccer jerseys. L is in love with his jersey. M is oblivious. What’s that? I didn’t hear you. Did you say ‘what did you get?’ Oh, I told J I wouldn’t out him on the Internet but lets just say his trip to the Philippines better make up for it.
Some of the pics are just of him standing next to a Basilica with gargoyles, or pics of instructions on how to shrink heads. He really loved that one. He took a pic of this woman on a horse. She lives on the mountain (errr…volcano) She is at least 80. Perhaps I should rethink my exercise routine…less Zumba, more volcanic equestrian cross training. And chocolate.
Patricia: I love you!
Joe Banks: I love you, too! I’ve never been in love with anybody before, either! It’s great! I’m glad! But the timing stinks.
[kisses her on the cheek]
Joe Banks: I’ve gotta go.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch….we were dealing with teething, tantrums, work calls, possibly bribing kids to be quiet during work calls, screeching like howler monkeys at the library (good thing there are more branches to visit-we won’t be asked back to that one), and loading up on tons of icky germs at the McD’s playplace. Beat that, Ecuador.