Martinez Madness

With fruit snack dreams and lego laden wishes…..

Archive for the month “April, 2012”

While the cat is away….

I was gone almost all last week in Dallas.  I owe a million gold coins (or a hug) to my hub and my parents. However, when I came back, I was smothered by toddler lovin’ and cracker crumbs. L had this brand new vocabulary which I blame on my hubby.

As we are watching the rain (Noah was around the orner in the ark), L says ‘Mom, that cat’s a punk. He doesn’t live over there. He lives next door. What a punk’. I’m relatively sure my mom doesn’t say punk. 

On the way home from errands yesterday, L tells me ‘Mom, I’m not supposed to tell you but we watched something with mamacitas’. I look over at J and he just smirked.  Hmmmm.

M now says ‘Sowwy Momma, Lub you’. Only after spilling a carton of corn flakes. The effect doesn’t work…all the time.

I took M to the grocery store. We needed replacement pasta sauce..because I made a poor decision of giving that bag to L to take in and in his other hand were his box of Junior Mints. He is like his momma and chocolate….ergo a second trip to the store… after throwing away a broken bottle of sauce.  M and I were off to the store and a group of guys followed us in.  Um…they followed us through the store. I know this because I didn’t take a list and my brain operates like a pinball machine when I’m in a store without a list.  And they followed me still.

By the way, I know what ‘butt’ is in Spanish. And I know when you are talking about MY butt and MYkid. My 10 years of being married to a Mexican is not for nothing….  I felt a little violated but….

As we are walking out, my new friends forgot about me and moved onto the woman loading groceries into a Nissan mini truck, wearing only a sports bra, a blazer and sweat pants. Then and there, I knew I could never wonder if I was underdressed for the grocery store again.  What a load off my mind. 

Either way, L and M grew up while I was gone. New vocab, new haircuts and apparently a new hobby of telling on J.   That J, what a punk.


That tortilla does not belong there…..

I found a tortilla in the couch today. The reason I found it? It was petrified and poking me in the leg. Now, my sweet child first asks me if I’m ok, once my assault by tortilla fit was over. Then he blames his dog for why it was there in the first place. He had to hide it from him. He’s gonna be a lawyer.

I was instructed tonight to move to the other side of the couch. L explained that if I moved, he could sneak candy without me seeing.  He may not be a lawyer,but he might need one.

Diarrhea. Yes. That is the word L told me he learned today. Fantastic. He said it about 9 times and we only live 10 minutes away from school.  The best part is M is a repeater. You can see where this story is going. Each time L said ‘diarrhea’, M said ‘rhea’.  So really I heard it 18 times.  There is a limit to how many time you can hear that word.  Trust me. L closed this one with ‘Mom, its a fact of life’.

Ay yi yi. My head hurts.

Title Schmitle

Today at work a bunch of shananigans happened. A few are funny…or maybe just to me.

1. Today I wore a sweater that was referred to as a fishing net. The Gortman’s Fisherman Song might have been sung. Rude.

2. I walked by the vending machine guy as he was refilling it. He took a bite out of a Rice Krispy treat. Either that’s a perk of the job or I’m gonna pick something else on the machine from now on.

3. I had to pack up my office. That sucked the first time. This time was more like college packing. Except I used trash bags back then.

4. I was interrogated in the bathroom. While I was ‘in action’. Rude. 🙂  She knows who she is. And next time, she’s gonna get it.

5. I actually was proactive and ordered lunch for myself and another person on Monday for today. Guess what today is?  Customer appreciation day when all sandwiches are $1. It never pays to be proactive. 

6. I heard one of my favorite people say Ludicrous and all I thought of was “Money Maker”…this is will be funny to anyone under 35.

Or maybe this is just funny to me. Oh well.

Easter follies

Sunday bonnets and babies locked in offices.  Ahh the follies that happen during Easter.  Church was relatively uneventful, except for the fact that my oldest kid has inherited my Grandma Mildred’s unique whisper (or lack thereof).  Brunch was relatively uneventful, minus the run in with a manager I had termed previously.  Oh and I wore sour cream on my jean jacket sleeve, not once but 3 times.  In the afternoon, we were off to a barbeque and all was well. Pre-barbeque, Teo was playing in the office of my sister in law and managed to lock the door. 

It wasn’t like a sitcom. Teo and I didn’t have a laugh track.  The panic that was in both our voices was not featured on the ‘Facts of Life’.  That is for sure. My MacGuyver of a husband tried to use a credit card. Didn’t work. All the while hearing ‘Mama, ‘elp me peez’.  Ugh.  Once we got the crazy kid out, it was on the the egg hunt. All emotional scars were erased with candy, dollars and twinkies.  

Aaah Easter…. I love that holiday.

Sweet Tater

Today, I cleaned up layers of crunch and tomato soup off a (in less than 12 hours) 2 year old boy.  Say wha?!  Yup, Mateo (Teo, Tay, Tater, Tater Tot, Spud, etc) is turning 2 tomorrow. Image

I officially have 2 boys. Not 2 babies. Not 2 tots. 2 BOYS.  These boys make each other giggle and their parents in the process.  These boys play in a box together and become dinosaurs and have dance parties. 

These boys drive me crazy. Make me want to scream. Use more toilet paper and paper towels than some small countries.


Happy Birthday Teo! We love you and your crunchy cuteness!

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