Martinez Madness

With fruit snack dreams and lego laden wishes…..

Archive for the month “June, 2011”

Martinez Family Vacation: Uodate #1

Ok… let the bald spots show. Want a little recap of the trip so far?

Lets start at the beginning. We almost ripped out the kitchen sink to pack with us. We could probably have lived without a few of the 8000 sippy cups we brought. Pretty sure they have water and soap in Denver. 
1. One of my kids is a dream road tripper. The other one is 14 months old and is currently residing on my ‘not the favorite’ list.
1a. L has asked about 45 times ‘are we going to ‘Dember’, when are we going to get to ‘Dember’. It’s refreshing.
2. We stopped in Salina for lunch. M grabbed a broom and dustpan from the lady cleaning the bathroom and almost took off with it.
2a. M learned how to drink out of a straw…finally. He also yelled ‘Momma’ at an Amish woman. Nice.
3. Pretty sure my knuckles are sun burned.
4. 2 hours in, Terry the Teradactyl took over the vocals in the car. Fun times.
5. Arrived in Hays….and the Hampton Inn. Ahhh the beds are awesome.
6. There might be grapes ground in the carpet in room 219, but I’m not admitting if there is.
7. We ate at Applebee’s. I HAVE NEVER EATEN THERE BEFORE. 😉
8.  Pool time consisted of two boys having a great time, and getting more energy than using it.
9. There was a mooning at the pool. I’m not gonna say who.
10. L is currently talking on the hotel room phone to Fireman Sam. (a cartoon character, Nana..don’t panic)
11. When we checked in the hotel, I asked L how he was doing. In front of a crowd of Hays-ers, L informed me that M was pooping in the corner.
12. M in the matter of 15 minutes, found out how to turn on the tub, unroll the toilet paper roll, and open a closet. To which, he played in for 20 min after.
13. L asked why we need ice. Then (thanks Grandpa) asked me if I needed beer tonight.
14. Both boys are currently still up and active….their parents however, can’t wait to get to ‘Dember’.

More to come… you better believe there will be.

Self inflicted pain?!?!?

So. yeah.  J and I decided to take a family trip west to visit all my awesome relatives in CO. We said ‘We flew last time, so we will drive this time’. Or something like that. Either way, we are packing 2 adults, 2 toddlers, 10 bags of kid crap, 8 chargers for various appliances, 19 sippy cups and a partridge in a pear tree and heading west for a few days.  I’m excited, nervous, anxious, excited, restless and practicing my yoga. Why you ask? For all the backbends and odd positions I will be cramming myself into between 2 car seats that have their own zip code and the previously mentioned crap in order to get a dropped chupi or yogurt raisin. FOR 4 DAYS!!  I may already be pulling my hair out.

I’m excited. Sure I am. No, really. I wish I could just be there already. I hate packing and really hate packing for everyone else plus me. I will happily pack for everyone else. Can someone pack for me? We have so much to do before we leave but I am obviously not worried about it because the boys and I are headed for Deanna Rose (a cool farmstead for you out of towners) and the pool.  So the toothpaste better pack itself or else we are headed to King Soopers in CO.

Just a warning, if you spot a bald patch on my head once I’m back…. just smile and nod and whisper to the person next to you ‘that lady was crazy enough to take 2 toddlers to CO, crazy, I tell you’. 

I am the Charlie Sheen of parenting…..winning.

So just a few notes to share with you my latest parenting wins. I’m all about confessions (Hellloooo Catholic school flashback) and being transparent with all 6 of my readers in the effort for you to judge me less…. or give you more material in which to judge fully. Whatever.

1. Today, I took a picture of M as his head was stuck in a bucket.  To qualify, I made sure he was ok and was only ‘fake’ crying. It technically was a misplaced hat. Poor guy has lots to learn about his style.

2. L came to me upset because his legs were ‘weird feeling’. I realized he was sitting on his knees on our kitchen chairs which have made an imprint on his legs. He proceeded to tell me that he needed a doctor and to go to the ‘hosptal’ (insert lots of spit when saying this word) right away.  I told him he would be fine but it was because the chair knew he wasn’t eating his veggies. 

3. At Jimmy John’s tonight (I cooked),  L asked the lady for a ‘sangwich’ and broccoli.  Such an odd boy. 🙂  That broccoli request was his nana’s doing.

We were going to Walmart today but I got lazy and my kids were extra crunchy. So we came home and did a photo shoot.  The garden gnome makes an appearance yet again. 

All 5 of the Faddis babes…. and their Gpa on Father’s Day

L enjoying a pre-game cupcake…the unhinging of the jaw-he gets that from me.

Pele (I need a more current soccer role model) showing off his moves.

“Did you see that soccer move??”-or- “Did you see that cupcake icing driveby?”

My boys….and the garden gnome

And the love time is over…. on the wrestling. Notice who is pinning who. I smell trouble in 2 years.

Call me crazy (Hello, crazy), but I love the fit throwing.  I DON’T love it in Target. 

4. I was trying to talk Luca out of not watching Calliou (I mean really, why is that kid bald….he’s 4. And why are his parents always home? I’m sure they have bills. Digressing….) so I suggested a favorite from my childhood stash.  The Land before Time.  Uh—-parenting alert. There are angry T-rexs chasing baby dinosaurs and fire and earthquakes.  I see bedtime going rather well tonight.  Crap.
Winning.  Yup, that’s me.
Tomorrow is a new day. 


The above title is something I don’t do. Scratch that. Usually do. Scratch that. Just did. Wha? Wha?  Yuppers. I did. V-O-L-U-N-T-A-R-I-L-Y. Whoa.   You can judge. It’s ok. I did. And while I will never be Cait or Skinny Runner, both of which are HIGH-larious and should be checked often, I am me. 

Calm down, this is not a “I have changed” post. This is merely an accountability post. Let me qualify your role in this accountability thing.  There will be none of the football player bum rushing people in the office craziness.  But perhaps a silent nod or just a  thumbs up (I was trying to be hip and cool like some bloggers I know, and literally have been fighting for 20 minutes to get a icon on here…and i am giving up).
I started to do the Couch to 5K program. There. I said it.  I’m on week 2 and feeling like I’m not going to keel over. I realized today that I wasn’t completely snarky today. And it WAS Snarky Tuesday.  When I’m doing this, I don’t think about anything else. Which is so odd to me. I’m ALWAYS thinking about something else.  Kids, laundry, kids laundry, work, calls to return, the to do list, need to get diapers, what’s my husband’s name?, kids, we need milk, pretty sure the dog pooped down here, etc……   I didn’t do that when I was running. Now… I’m not going to be a female Steve Prefontaine or anything….he had way better hair than I do.  But it was nice not to think about anything.  I lied. I thought about the shorts I was wearing….and how I would NEVER wear those outside.  You know, in case the paparazzi should catch wind I’m the next Carl-etta Lewis.
The catalyst for this craziness was not just one thing but a few which got me to thinking (the hubby was shocked as well).  My kiddos are crazy, messy, loud and hilarious and I want to be able to enjoy all the chaos.  My family is crazy, messy, loud and hilarious and someone needs to be around to wheel them all into rest homes.  People make choices all the time that affect a lot of people and don’t understand the gravity of the situation they put their families in (how is that for cryptic and vague).  So, I just figured a little exercise won’t kill me, turning off the laptop and squeezing my kiddos extra tight won’t kill my career, and all is right with the world.
So….feel free to smile and wave,  and don’t stare at my shorts.


So L has a ‘talent’ of mine…. and it has nothing to do with math. Poor L. However, he, thanks to me, can remember random pieces of information as well as lyrics from songs that we may have only heard twice. Pretty sure both of those are not on the SAT’s but man, he will kill it at bar trivia. A mother can only dream.  Check out the star in the making.  

Here is another one for your viewing pleasure.  Just as a side note, L has only watched himself like 9 times singing this. He may be a bit of a div-o. 
And one more, in case the rapping doesn’t work out.

The thing about kids is….

….they are a fantastic excuse for why your brain doesn’t work.  A few family friends have had babies recently and I think back to when I was the new mom and believed I really needed those pacifier wipes.  Just a few hours ago, M was hauling it down the driveway while I was being the pack mule unloading the car. L was already on the sidewalk screaming that M was gonna hit a car ( our sentence sequencing needs work).  M had dropped his chupi (pacifier) on the driveway and was screeching like a pterodactyl at L.  I bet our neighbors love us. L acts like Favre (pre 1st retirement) and lobs it at me. I drop it (like the 08 Chiefs) and grab it so I can entice our lil dinosaur back up the driveway. 

Here is the hitch in the giddy up. See, I could have walked down the driveway and grabbed the kid, and finished being the pack mule (By the way, there isn’t a written rule that you have to make one trip unloading all the crap out of the car when you get home, but I like to imagine myself on “Minute to Win It”).  So here is where my brain not working example comes in. I know, I know… it was a long way around to this point. Just stay with me.  Whistling to my toddler like he was a yorkie and yanking a chupi off the driveway and shaking it like a freak made ALL the sense in the world to me.   Hence lies the problem. 

L is hilarious lately….but oh so literal.  Which makes him more hilarious, in a completely inappropriate way.  He says things like, “Mom, Dad has grass on his face. Is he going to mow his face?”  Or while screaming about the unfairness of something, he feels the need to tell Teo to watch his ‘fit’ so Teo won’t do it later.  Always the teacher.

M is my monkey boy lately. He walks like my cousins and my brothers and it gives me the shivers to think about it. Need some back story? Here it comes in 5…..4…..3.     My Loui boy cousins and my brothers all mastered this creepy way of walking like an ape (which actually sounds super stinkin’ lame as I type it, but I will plow through the awkwardness).   The creepy part comes when they do the walk…as you are coming around the corner….in the dark. See?  You agree with me, right? 

Well, I showed weakness (read: shrieking like a flying dinosaur) and they smelled the blood in the water. They love to do it now. (The boy cousins are almost AARP age, so they don’t do it so much. They probably still flip their eyelids, but thats another story).  My brothers? They lack maturity so they still do the walking ape deal. And it. is. still. creepy. 

Back to the point…. M is walking like an ape. I am trying to deal with it. It may require therapy. Or chocolate. Or a Mac Book. (Caitlin!!!!) 

Off to work and bed… those brain cells don’t break themselves!!

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