Martinez Madness

With fruit snack dreams and lego laden wishes…..

‘You be an alligator and I’m a cowboy.’

We pretend hard in this house….real hard.

Dress up, props, elaborate forts and emotional animals are involved. The Indian garb that J brought back became princess dresses. Add fire boots and it became ‘Mom’s clothes she wears to work.’ Perhaps I need to watch what I wear.

My mom says that she loves how L uses his imagination. Part of me rolls my eyes and the other secretly craves her ‘teacherly’ perspective and approval. M is now deep into pretend land. He is often L’s fire truck driver; his wife; but mostly his nemesis. I love to hear the conversations between them. This is their fire truck and there is a frequent request for seat belts to be put on.

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We hear snippets of school activity. ‘Ok, are we ready to go outside?’ ‘Was that a good choice, Pierce?’ ‘I’m Miss Dawn with the food cart.’ There are full on phone conversations with answering as a La Petite teacher. ‘If you play with it one more time, it’s going in your cubby.’

Often the pretend play shows me a glimpse into our life…and how much we utilize a drive thru. Hmmm. I hear ‘Gotta go, Honey…I’m late.’ I hear ‘Really, Luca? You mad?’ I hear ‘Feed the dog. I’ve reminded you already.’ I hear ‘Honey, hurry up and put your shoes on.’

Stings a little. They are sponges and often times I forget that they listen even when they are singing the theme song to ‘Sofia the princess.’ Over. And over.

I need to slow down and appreciate the cheez it-crusted, cowboy hat wearing sponges.

And knock off the drive thru action….

No sleep…in Olathe

Clearly sleep is for small children under 4 feet, small annoying dogs and husbands who have returned from foreign countries. Not me. Ergo, here I sit writing random musings. I take no responsibility on the words/thoughts below.

-Cruise ships are giant port a potties with a fruit buffet. Bucket list item? Pass.
-What daycare gives POUNDS of candy out to each kid at 5pm? Why do they hate me?
-There are 2 baby crib mattresses on my living room floor. Cheap entertainment all night for the boys. Bouncing back and forth. I’m not ashamed.
-The candy is calling my name.
-Luca informed me that his friend Pierce kicked him the the back. But he only was mad for 5 months. He may have meant minutes…or not.
-it’s 12:52am. What is wrong with this picture?
-Tomorrow is a day closer to Disney World. Why did we tell the boys months before we leave? Yeah, me either. Grant me patience.

Time flies….or it can smack you in the face.

It’s been a few months since I have graced you with my inspirational tidbits and wacky kid stories. For that, I apologize.  Facebook and Twitter have been capturing all the chaos. Forget about baby books and scrapbooks. I hope my children understand how hip i was by not doing a baby book.  *snort*

Either way, the chaos in my life continues. Most of the time, I feel as though I have been run over.  New job, new responsibilities, new places to travel and new co workers make the time fly by.  I have the same sweet husband & same sweet, sticky kiddos who have been managing through the chaos with me.  They have been dealing with pb sandwiches for dinner; different people picking up from school; and many different moods from this momma. 

I’m not one for resolutions. Basically, because I destroy them the first week and I love Dr. Pepper too much.  But I have commited to myself and these dudes that I will take notes.  Lots of notes from the working moma around me who make all of this happen.  I’m still learning.  Bare with me. 

More travel is on the horizon. My kids believe I’m always going to ‘Calipornia’ or ‘Mylanta’.  The sweet hub is picking up the house, literally and figuratively.  I can’t promise there won’t be Ramen for dinner, large piles of laundry and the iPad beeping with emails at ungodly hours.  But I am promising to try to be present.  Putting the phone down during bathtime, not snapping while trying to craft an email at bedtime, appreciating the chaos and attempting to…gasp….compartmentalize my life. 

Plus..who doesn’t love Ramen. 

I’m a working mom??!!

I was gone almost all last week in Dallas.  I owe a million gold coins (or a hug) to my hub and my parents. However, when I came back, I was smothered by toddler lovin’ and cracker crumbs. L had this brand new vocabulary which I blame on my hubby.

As we are watching the rain (Noah was around the orner in the ark), L says ‘Mom, that cat’s a punk. He doesn’t live over there. He lives next door. What a punk’. I’m relatively sure my mom doesn’t say punk.

On the way home from errands yesterday, L tells me ‘Mom, I’m not supposed to tell you but we watched something with mamacitas’. I look over at J and he just smirked.  Hmmmm.

M now says ‘Sowwy Momma, Lub you’. Only after spilling a carton of corn flakes. The effect doesn’t work…all the time.

I took M to the grocery store. We needed replacement pasta sauce..because I made a poor decision of giving that bag to L to take in and in his other hand were his box of Junior Mints. He is like his momma and chocolate….ergo a second trip to the store.  M and I were off to the store and a group of 3 guys followed us in.  Um…they followed us through the store. I know this because I didn’t take a list and my brain operates like a pinball machine when I’m in a store without a list.  And they followed me still.

By the way, I know what ‘butt’ is in Spanish. And I know when you are talking about MY butt and my kid. My 10 years of being married to a Mexican is not for nothing….  I felt a little violated but….

As we are walking out, my new friends forgot about me and moved onto the woman loading groceries into a Nissan mini truck, wearing only a sports bra, a blazer and sweat pants. Then and there, I knew I could never wonder if I was underdressed for the grocery store again.  What a load off my mind.

My Outdoorsman

This weekend, we traveled to the lake. And…I survived. The lake itself is great. The water, tubing, smores, and kids are fun. I get a little competitive on the tube and forget I’m 35. Ouch. My armpits are even sore.

The mud is not so fun. Therefore, ‘we’ only do a day trip usually. But L wanted to spend the night with his Tia and Tio.  So we left him… to spend the night… without us. Outside. J was more nervous than I was, I think.  Either way, he had the best time and wouldn’t stop talking about this fish when he got home.  But then I got the real story from my sis-in-law….

She tried to get all the boys out of the lake for lunch. L refused to come out of the water (typical…stubborn like his dad). One of the kids asked her for a bottle and water for L. She went down to see why he needed it and she saw it. A fish. L proceeded to ask her for a bottle and water so he could take it home and show us. He said it was an obedient fish (my parenting skills at work) and didn’t swim away. It stayed right by him and even let him open and close its mouth.

L told me that it was the color of Uncle Ry’s truck (grey) but now I believe that to be the color of decaying marine life.  My own little outdoorsman.

Is that a wrinkle?

I turned 35 this week.  I waited for the profound wisdom that lady Oprah kept talking about. Nada.  In fact, I still managed to forget my security badge at home and wondering if I put on deodorant.  I’m not helping things by watching amazingly horrible television like Dallas.  So.so bad, like Victoria Principal infomercial bad. 

Either way, I had some thoughts while watching bad TV:

-In the mint ad where the two strangers get in a cab at the same time…how the heck do they both grab mints so fast? Have you seen me get in my car? It required major jostling, at least 2 car doors opening and a heavy sigh once I’m in…then I reach for my mint.

-There is a lot of head nodding that happens in Dallas apparently.  I need to do more of that.  So if you ask me a question, just expect a head nod. ‘Hey Courtney, are you going to drill oil on Southfork?’ Head nodding.  ‘Hey Mom, fish sticks again?’ Head nodding.  Such a convenience.

-Anyone else believe Niecy Nash is a preacher’s wife? Yep, me either….but still wasted 23 minutes of my life watching it.  TV Land for the win.

Kinda hoping that age based wisdom kicks in before the next commercial….

Pictures are worth what???

Father’s Day is a difficult concept in this house.  Especially when one kid is sick and the other is begging to go see Avengers. So no rest for the wicked. Or J. Ha.  So in between showings and laundry, I had the boys draw pictures for J.  I said ‘Let’s draw our family’. Bad decision.

This is me. According to L. See the resemblance?  The hair, the nose, the wideness. In fact, he told J he made me big.  Fantastic. 

So I lovingly asked him to try again. That was a mistake.

 L made me draw J with his constant attire (KU stuff) and then me. He wanted me in heels and a skirt. But apparently the fact that I don’t have a shirt on didn’t bother him.  I’m glad my kid thinks I’m all class. 

 

Happy Father’s Day to the best dad and husband ever.  Even through the pukes and Captain A-hair-ica.

I need to appreciate the imagination…..

L is full of imagination. My mother thinks its fantastic. I, however, have moments in which it strikes a little too close to home.  Typically, we have to leap on boulders to avoid the crocodiles who live under the coffee table. Or that we are pirates with Jake (read: Disney money maker) and have to find Captain Hook in the hall closet.  Today was a little different. 

For those who work with me, this will be slightly humorous. For those who don’t….well I stand by my inital disclosure that there won’t always be humor in the posts.   Anywhooo…. L walks up to me and says ‘Let’s play work’. I said ok….and then he said ‘Mom, you be Jill. I will be Bob and Teo can be Rick’.  Then he picked up his imaginary phone and started making calls. Apparently Jill and I talk about people and jobs a lot.  Bob (aka Luca) makes a lot of comments and I don’t talk a lot.  And Rick and I laugh a lot.  (Disclosure: wow, that was freaky but not entirely true–remember he has a lively imagination.) 

Then L told me that he (Bob) and I (Jill) should walk thru some kitchens.  Hmmmm.  Finally, he called a restaurant for carside and proceeded to recite our ENTIRE order.  Boom. And THERE’S my life…from a 4 year old. 

 

What’s that on the tarmac?

All I wanted to was to not have to listen to power wheels running in the driveway tonight. So I had a bright idea to take the boys to the KC Aviation Center to watch ‘panes’ take off. I scored some dinner…that came with toys…(that was foreshadowing).

The boys were so excited. So excited that they chucked their spy toy discs (who was the genius who invented projectiles for kids meals?)  on the tarmac. THE TARMAC. Granted, the planes are tiny toothpicks with wings but still. That’s gotta be against FAA regs to have small, red plastic discs out there.  So ‘magically’, we watched the planes go to sleep and snuck out of there.  

Tomorrow, we are driving power wheels. Again.

Venus Schmenus

I should have known. I should have known that me taking a minute to sit outside on the deck snuggling with M and L would have ended with them yelling ‘Penis’ over and over…. 

It was my fault. I was avoiding (classic CM move) something I didn’t want to do so of course I find lots of things to distract me. Cooking, cleaning (cough, cough), sorting stamps and putting the grill cover back on. I NEVER put the grill cover back on. Or cook, I NEVER do that… well. 

But L asked for his ‘super favorite’ meal….chicken drumsticks on the grill, mashed potatoes and corn. So I obliged. It is the only thing (practically) that he asks me to make over and over. And because I know his standards are low now, I say yes every time.  But I digress….

Fred and Barney were walking around munching on their 3rd drumstick each. It makes my ego inflate for a half a second. I went outside to sit, put the grill cover on and jack around….and M followed me. We started talking about the moon. He was saying ‘hi Moon’ between mouthfuls. That boy has the Grandma Mildred Faddis talent of cleaning off a drumstick bone. It’s amazing. Like mouth agape amazing.

L joins us and takes a seat on my lap. He asked where the man in the sky is and I recover quickly *parenting error* and say ‘Oh, Venus? He is up there somewhere.’ Ignore the fact I took Mythology in college but let’s just assume I took that pass/fail.  L explains to me ‘yeah, Venus has the day off. He made dinner and then had to go to Target.  Teo, say hi to Venus’.  Wait for it….

M says ‘Hi Penis!’.  L looks at me for approval or disapproval and I cracked. I smiled and that was the ‘go for launch’ sign. Simultaneously, they start yelling ‘Hi, Penis!’.  I know my neighbors already hate me for the barking ball of fur we call a dog but now I have town criers who yell anatomy parts into the night? The value of my house just dropped by at least 5 bucks.  

So, beware, don’t ask M about the planets. Or just not Uranus.

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